“Emotions are like waves. Watch them come and go. Let them pass through you and let them go.”
Navigating Bad Days: Finding Ways to Let Go and Heal
Not every day is good. Some days, it feels like everything is against you, a cloud is forming in your mind, and everything is just too much.
But that’s okay. You can’t have those amazing days if you never experience bad ones. It’s the principle of polarity: everything is dual, everything has its poles, a pair of opposites.
These opposites are identical in nature but different in degree, like warm and cold. They are both temperatures, but they are each other’s opposite. Everything needs to balance itself out—one cannot exist without the other.
Bad days don’t last forever, no matter how long they may feel. But these thoughts don’t always help when you’re in the middle of one of those bad day’s. Sometimes, thinking about the fact that there will be an end to it just puts more focus on how bad things feel right now.
It can be exhausting if you don’t allow yourself to deal with these moments the way you need to. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to these feelings. It can feel like every bad moment requires something different to get you through it.
There is no miracle cure for sadness or bad days. There’s no pill to take or spell to cast that will make them go away and guarantee a lifetime of happiness. The only thing you can do is the next best thing for yourself to make it through.
The things I talk about here are little things that have helped me in the past to make a tough period just a little lighter. I hope they can do the same for you.
Feel and Let Go
At times, a bad day feels like someone is pulling you underwater. The pressure of the water builds, and you feel like you’re drowning in your own emotions. For me, when this happens, it’s because I’ve suppressed my feelings for too long, and my body just can’t hold them back anymore.
When this happens, I let it take me. I do whatever my body needs to do, because I know I’m in this situation because I didn’t listen to myself in the first place. So, I allow myself to feel every emotion I need to feel. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to scream, I scream.
It can feel so good to let yourself feel, but it can also be overwhelming. Take it one emotion at a time if you need to. If you feel like you can’t handle everything at once, focus on just one emotion.
But remember, don’t get stuck in those emotions. This is a process of letting go, not of holding on.
If you need help letting your emotions flow, try watching a sad movie or listening to sad music. It can act as a trigger to start feeling those suppressed emotions. It’s not always easy to allow yourself to feel, so this is like a backdoor to help you take that first step.
Here’s a list of some of my favorite “cry movies”:
- Up – Disney
- Brother Bear – Disney
- Your Name – Makoto Shinkai
- I Want to Eat Your Pancreas – Shin’ichirô Ushijima
- A Walk to Remember – Adam Shankman
- Hachi: A Dog’s Tale – Lasse Hallström
- Little Women (2019) – Greta Gerwig
- My Girl – Howard Zieff
- Bridge to Terabithia – Gábor Csupó
- The Notebook – Nick Cassavetes
- The Last Song – Julie Anne Robinson
But the most important thing when allowing yourself to feel is, as I mentioned before, not to get stuck in it. Feel your emotions deeply, then allow them to go. Don’t cling to them, because then you’ll feel bad for a much longer time. When you bottle your emotions up for too long, you kind of get addicted to them. It becomes a “good” kind of suffering that pulls you down deeper if you don’t let go. This is the hardest part.
You know that sense of relief that comes after you cry? That’s when you start to let go. Tell yourself you’re allowed to feel what you just did, but now it’s time to let that feeling go.
Breathe and let it flow out of you.
Journal
Ranting on paper can be one of the most healing things you can do. It sometimes feels like you’re screaming without actually screaming.
I’m writing this blog on a day that I feel like absolute crap. And writing this helps remind me of the steps I need to take to get back to a place of contentment. This blog kin of feels like a journal for me.
A great way to release your emotions is by writing them down. It feels like popping the cork on a champagne bottle—once it’s out, the pressure is gone. Some might even say it’s like “vomiting” on paper.
Just write everything that needs to come out. There’s no censor, no judgment. Anything and everything goes on that page. Nobody will read it, so just spill out all your thoughts and emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. If your phrases don’t make sense, that’s okay. If your hand can’t keep up with your mind, that’s okay too! The most important thing is to be brutally honest and not overthink it. Just let everything fall out.
The truth is, you’re probably never going to read what you write again. So whatever you write in that moment is just for that moment. Once you let everything out, you’ll begin to slow down, and you’ll start feeling lighter. And then, suddenly, when you’re done, it feels like a blanket has been lifted off you. You can focus on your breath again, and everything just feels a little bit better.
If you want to go a step further, you can burn or tear up the paper. It’s like a physical representation of letting go of those feelings and thoughts.
You can also journal more in depth about what’s bothering you, if you want to understand your emotions better or if you’re not comfortable with ranting. Here are some of my favourite journal prompts for when you’re feeling down:
- Sit still for a minute and analyze how your body is feeling right now. What are you feeling?
- What happened that made you feel this way?
- What triggered it?
- Is this the first time this has happened?
- When was the first time you felt this way?
- Is the current situation related to when you first felt this way?
- Do you want to feel this way? Why or why not?
- Do you judge yourself for feeling this way?
- Is this emotion the real emotion, or is it a cover for a different emotion?
- Do you notice any patterns in your emotions—when they come, what situations they’re linked to?
- Are you likely to suppress your emotions? What emotions do you avoid feeling and why?
- If someone you cared about had the same problem you’re facing right now, what advice would you give them?
- Make a list of what you can and cannot control in this situation. Scratch out the things you can’t control and focus on the things you can.
- Try naming three things you’re grateful for, even though you feel this way. Focus on those.
Move
Sometimes, you can feel your emotions getting stuck in your body. You feel them in your skin, your hips, your back, and neck. One way to deal with that is by moving.
I’ve always been told that emotions are stored in your hips, so doing some yoga with hip openers could help release those emotions.
But even just jumping, dancing, or moving in strange ways around the house can make a huge difference. Some people go running when they feel anxious to go against that buildup of energy. It’s a way to let off steam. Moving your body can be a quick solution to shifting your mindset—keeping your mind from sinking too deeply into darkness.
It’s a way to face your emotions step by step. It’s okay not to face them all at once. You don’t have to deal with everything right now.
Move the way your body tells you to. Nobody’s watching, nobody’s judging—just move. Let your emotions pass through your body. Let out the steam.
Talk to a Friend
For many people, the hardest thing is sharing what they’re going through with someone else. You don’t want to be a burden, you don’t want to drag anyone down with you. Unfortunately I’m guilty of this too.
But talking to someone you trust can be one of the best ways to vent. Speak your truth to a friend, sibling, or parent. They love you, and they don’t want to see you in pain so they do not mind listening to your problems. If everything feels too much, talk about it. And who knows—maybe the person you talk to has the solution you need.
Having someone listen to you can really help lighten the load. Even if they don’t know what to say, just talking can help you climb out of that hole a bit. Trust that they’re not judging you, and you’re not bothering them. You’d do the same for them, and it’s healthy to let others share the weight you’re carrying.
Just embrace the help
Draw/Paint and be Creative
Sometimes it’s not easy to express your emotions verbally. I know I’ve struggled to find words for my feelings when I’m going through something difficult. If you’re not comfortable voicing your emotions, art can be a great way to channel them.
One thing I like to do is grab a large piece of paper and some paint, markers, or colored pencils and just let my hand move. It’s a form of emotional release, just like journaling. You don’t need to aim for perfection, just for the catharsis of expressing yourself in color or form. You might be surprised at what you create when you stop trying to control the process.
Let your feelings come through you, through your hand onto the paper. Afterwards if you want you can still tear up the paper if that is what you feel like, just to have that physical release again.
Everything is about feeling the emotions and letting them go, how you want to do it is up to you, whatever way feels easiest to you. I think in general the most important thing to do is expressing yourself in some sort of way. Just find a way to let those emotions out of your body. Like I already said, these are just things that helped me in the past. This does not mean they have to work for you, but I hope it did.
So pick and choose what you think will work for you and if one does not help, just try another.
Lots of love
Chloe
